Gym and junk

So, I'm going to write about the gym. Let's start with the guy who doesn't even go to the gym to work out. He just goes to the gym to prance around naked near the sauna. And stare at his monstrous penis in the mirror. I see him at the gym nearly every day. He is in good shape. I don't know how--? Because I've never seen him go past the towel rack. I have never seen him even pick up a towel for that matter. I have seen him in the parking lot having some heated discussion on his phone in his perfect black BMW. I imagine he is lying to his wife or firing someone. I'll tell you one thing, if he says to anyone "I'm going to go workout,"  it's a lie. He is just going to the gym to peacock his penis around. It's like therapy for him, I think. Whenever he is around everyone wears towels. Then all the other guys, because they feel emasculated, go to the showers and try to give themselves subtle semi-erections in the hopes that their penises will look bigger. The problem is that some of these guys get carried away. And an appropriate amount of semi is very important. Sometimes when that guy is around all the others come back from the showers with red dicks and what could only be described as erections. Now, you might be thinking, "that is a super gay gym!" You might also be thinking, "something similar happens at my gym." Or you might think, "guys are so weird."

Another thing about the gym: why are there always guys talking? The other day. There were two old guys talking. One guy was like "time is money." The other guy parroted him in a call and response manner. "Time is money," said the lead, then the second guy would say, "Time is money." And they would repeat their idiotic mantra over and over again until the first guy broke the pattern by yelling, "I'm the Cookie Monster." And they both started laughing. Now either those guys were laughing about some inside joke they were both in on or they were both borderline retarded people and the first guy actually thought he was the Cookie Monster, which is just stupid, because the guy who was making those claims was bald and lumbering. The Cookie Monster has a clearly defined widow's peak and is a puppet.