I'm coming for dinner...

So yesterday my girlfriend, my cousin and my little niece who is four went over to my parents' house for dinner. My little niece inspired me to behave badly. From here on out I will go to my friend's houses and re-enact her behavior exactly. I will mimic her every word verbatim and as closely as I can her movements and behavior. I will give you an example. Imagine I'm coming over to your house later this evening. This is what will happen:

To start off with I will arrive at your house and refuse to get out of the car because I am unhappy with my outfit. After you come outside and cajole me into the house with promises of cats and dogs, I will reluctantly come in. Did I mention I will be wearing a large red Paula Abdul shirt and that's it? Well that is what I will be wearing. It won’t matter what I will be wearing though because I will remove every article of clothing I have on post haste as soon as I step through the front door. Then what will I do, you ask? I will scour your house until I find an African drum. Then I will drag it into the kitchen and bang on it while doing stretches on the floor.

Then it's time for dinner. It looks good. Did you spend half a day making it? It doesn’t matter. Because all I'm really going to eat is the ice cream that goes with the dessert. I will be polite and mention many times how much I like the ice cream.

Oh, it's time for me to go in your hot tub now. Never mind that you are still eating. You need to show me how to use it now. It will be nice and I will tell you that. I will also need some toys to play with. When you find me a rubber ducky I will be happy. Then I will pick it up in both hands and scream at it “ Enough lies!” and throw it against the wall. 

After I'm done I will want some more ice cream. Be prepared for that.