Horsing around

If you were standing in front of me now, you might be thinking to yourself. . .what is different about him? Did he get a haircut? No. Is he wearing a new shirt? No. Did he recently become a horse owner? Yes. In fact you would be right if you were thinking that. My girlfriend and I are proud owners of a two year old Arabian mix. Wow, you are thinking: I did not even know you were a horse guy! Well, I'm not. The opportunity just came along and we seized it. How hard could it be? It's old technology, antiquated really. I imagine it's a lot like cat ownership. The important thing is that I get to wear sweet hats and chaps! I have always wanted to wear chaps as they were intended to be worn. I have snake skin cowboy boots already. All me and my girlfriend need are matching black dusters and sawed-off shotguns to really look like we belong on the ranch. The crazy thing is my eyes are messed up anyway and I do wear an eye patch from time to time. That will really bring the outfit together I think! Wait, what ranch, you ask? Well, we don't have one yet. We figured it's best to get the horses and dusters first. Then we will worry about the ranch. We are calling my backyard "the ranch" for now. And we are also calling our horse Sarah Jessica Parker. Not because Sarah Jessica Parker looks like a horse (but she does, sorry ladies. . .it's just true.) No, her name is Sarah Jessica Parker because she is a high fashion horse. She doesn't wear "horse shoes." No, she's all about city boots. She wears Manolo Blahniks made especially for her and those big Jackie Kennedy sunglasses. You know the ones. Those big Yves St Laurent ones. Just picture me with my eye patch in chaps with jeans with my girlfriend behind me riding off into the sunset with matching dusters and sawed-off shotguns on Sarah Jessica Parker as she is cooly trotting along wearing her Manolo Blahniks and Jackie O shades. Horse ownership is going to be awesome! I encourage anyone to get into it, even if they only have a partial outfit. It will all come together as nature intended. I can't wait to ride Sarah Jessica Parker to the farmer's market. People will be so impressed with her and our outfits.

Update: my beehive has been resurrected. Thanks to Todd from the Santa Barbara Beekeepers Association. The bees are happy and so am I. Hivey Keitel is doing great! So great that I ordered another Bubees hive, Hivey Milk. Hivey Milk will arrive sometime next week!