A group of unsavory characters would be hanging out in a warehouse. One of the guys looks really jittery and paranoid. His eyes dart around. Slowly he opens a briefcase and reveals a concealed key-lime pie. Then one of the other guys, who would be wearing kind of a crappy suit, dips his finger into the pie and raises his finger ever so slowly to his mouth in silence. The tension at this point would be palpable....just really, really uncomfortable. The silence would draw out. Then the guy who just tasted the pie would say, "That's some good fucking stuff." And everyone would relax and have some pie!
I don't think I'm being unreasonable wanting this. I watch stupid movies all the time, and honestly I cannot recall one scene that centered on a key-lime pie! Let alone a film where the protagonist is a key lime pie. We have come along way as a country, but there is still a dark side to us. It's no wonder--half the country would vote for Mitt Romney if the election were held today. I have brain cancer, and that seems great compared to the idea of that troglodyte being president. Plankton has more charm and intelligence than that cat turd factory!
I'm getting side-tracked. I guess there is one movie that has a big pie scene! American Pie! But I don't want to talk about a dick ruining a pie for everyone else. It's such a greedy thing to do...and I already talked about Mitt Romney.
I swear, if I have to write a screenplay myself that stars a key lime pie, I will do it. What kind of society do we want to have? Where are our priorities! A society where Mitt Romney is president and nobody gets any pie? Or, a society where films are made that use pies in place of cocaine because it would be kind of funny and delicious!
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